


Promises

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: FT - Gen [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Broken Promises, Character Death, Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Promises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-17 06:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16511150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: "I'm going to live. I'm going to grow stronger. I'm going to defeat Acnologia." Natsu's promises to Igneel echo constantly in his mind, driving him ever fowards, but sometimes promises alone aren't enough.





	Promises

    Natsu had always understood the weight of promises, especially the weight of those made to people that had passed away. First there had been the promise that he had made to Lisanna back when they children, that he would find her if she ever disappeared again. It had been a childish promise, made in the wake of the fear they’d both felt at being separated, and with no thought as to what the future could hold for them. It had never occurred to them in their naivety that there were forces out there that could render such words powerless, that could break a promise made from the bottom of their hearts. They’d been naïve, and it had become a promise that had haunted him constantly for those two years where they had believed that Lisanna was dead. She had disappeared, just as she had feared, but he hadn’t been there, and he hadn’t been able to go and find her, because there was nothing to find, she wasn’t just lost as she had been when they were children. She was gone. Dead. And his promise was broken just like that.

    That was the first time Natsu had experienced the pain of a broken promise, grief and guilt tearing him apart, and as he’d stood in front of the makeshift grave he’d raised in front of their childhood hut, he had vowed that he would never break another promise.

     It had been a promise that he’d kept. It didn’t matter who or what he gave his word to, his heart big enough to make promises to enemies and nakama alike, because it didn’t matter who they were. All that mattered was that he kept the promises that he made to them, even those that he had never spoken aloud. He didn’t care how much he had to go through, how much pain he had to endure, he would do anything as long as it meant that he never again had to experience the pain of breaking his word. On more than one occasion he had found himself on the receiving end of lectures and warnings from his friends who could see him going to far, worried about what he was doing to himself, not understanding why he needed to push himself to such lengths. He’d tried to explain, but he was never able to find the right words to describe the horrible, hollow feeling that had consumed him when Lisanna had died and he’d realised that his childish words had been empty, his promise broken.

    When they’d asked him to promise them that he’d be more careful in the future, he deflected, pointing out that they were nearly as bad as he was when they got carried away, and he had managed to escape with making nothing more than a weak promise to try and be more careful. And he did, because it didn’t matter how weak or strong the promise was, or whether it was small thing, if it was a promise it still had to be kept.

    However, the most painful promises he had ever had to make had been those he’d uttered whilst he had watched as Igneel’s body disappeared right in front of his eyes. Standing on shaky legs with tears streaming down his cheeks and a hole in is heart that could never be filled, he had promised that he would live. That he would get stronger. That he would defeat Acnologia. He had felt the words taking hold, even his grief couldn’t subtract from the weight of those promises, and hours…days…later when he had finally run out of tears to shed, those words had become the centre of his world, the focus that would allow him to keep going. They were his reason for moving forward and as he followed Happy down their front path a few days later, with his backpack over his shoulder and a letter stuffed in his pocket, he found himself repeating them on a constant loop, just to keep himself putting one foot in front of the other.

_Watch me Igneel, I’ll keep my promises…_

**

Living.

    At the time that he had made those promises, that had seemed like the hardest one to face. The thought of moving forwards, of continuing without the dream of reuniting with Igneel to drive him onwards had seemed unbearable, and for those first few days he had feared that it was a promise that eh wouldn’t be able to keep. _Igneel, how am I supposed to live with this pain? How am I supposed to keep going, when I know that you’re no longer out there waiting for me to find you?_ However, it had never been in his nature to just stand still and surrender, no matter how heavy the grief weighing down on his shoulders were, and slowly, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, he had begun to move forwards. He had continued to live, just as he had promised, even as tears continued to fall in his heart.

_See Igneel, I’m living. It hurts, but I kept my promise._

Growing stronger.

     That was something he had worked towards for as long as he had remembered, and he knew that he had come a long way from the child watching awestruck as his overenthusiastic father had destroyed a mountain just to show him a spell. However, this time the gap he needed to close seemed insurmountable. He had fought Acnologia already and lost, and he had been completely helpless as the monster had murdered Igneel in front of his eyes. Helpless. Useless. _Stronger, I have o get strong. Strong enough to take down the Dragon that defeated Gildarts. That took all of Fairy Tail just to shield against his attacks. That had killed Igneel._ Gramps had said it before, that anger was the source of his greatest strength and he had more than enough anger to spare at the moment. Anger at Igneel for disappearing on him again. Fury at his own weakness, and a terrifying, dark rage that rose whenever his thoughts turned to Acnologia.

    He trained harder than he’d ever done before, pushing himself to the point of collapse and beyond most days, ignoring the concern he could see in Happy’s eyes, the promises always there to spur him onwards when exhaustion threatened to send him crashing to the ground. And slowly, far too slowly for his likely, it began to yield results. His magic swelled, stronger and stronger by the day, and with it came the hope that maybe, just maybe he would be able to take down Acnologia the next time they met.

    It was when he stood in the middle of the arena at the Grand Magic Games, the stadium melting around him that he realised for the first time exactly how far he had come and forgetting why he was there and ignoring the frightened crowd and approaching soldiers, he had lifted his hand to the sky.

_I’ve grown stronger Igneel, and I’ll keep growing…until I’m strong enough._

**

    Defeating Acnologia was always going to be the hardest promise to keep, and not because he didn’t want to, but this was the monster who had killed Igneel. It didn’t matter that is father hadn’t been at full strength when they had faced each other, even like that he’d been vastly more powerful than Natsu and yet it had been clear that there had been a huge difference in their power. Igneel had, had the strength and willpower to fight, but it hadn’t been enough, and yet somehow Natsu had to find a way to overcome that? To become something more than Igneel? Still, he had to try, he had to keep his promise and he had always known that he would eventually get the chance, what he hadn’t expected though, was for his chance to come in the middle of war.

    His magic had already been stretched far beyond its limits, he’d almost died, and then in the midst of it all he had found himself facing Acnologia. That hadn’t been the only unpleasant surprise, because rather than the Dragon that had terrorised his guild on Tenroujima and in the fight against Tartaros, the Dragon who had murdered Igneel in front of him and for the first time ignited a fire in Natsu’s chest, a longing to live up to the name of Dragon-slayer, he had found himself confronted by a human. No matter how much he had hated the creature…the man? He couldn’t help but baulk at the task ahead, at the thought of killing Acnologia. Igneel had been the first one to teach him to value all human life, and Fairy Tail had only reinforced that lesson, it was written into their very fabric that they didn’t kill humans no matter what they had done, and he found himself faltering. He had learned to live with the pain in his heart. He had grown far stronger than the teen who had been helpless to do anything but stand there as his father had fallen in front of his eyes. By all rights this was his moment, this was the time to see his last promise fulfilled, and yet it was Igneel’s own words that were threatening to hold him back.

Pain.

    Physical pain this time wracked his body, and he knew even before he hit the ground that he was about to break that first promise, that there was no way he was going to live through this, no matter how strong he’d become. _Strong,_ a bitter laugh welled up in the back of his throat as he watched Acnologia prowling towards him. He hadn’t stood a chance, his strongest attacks had been pushed aside as though they were nothing and he closed his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks as he realised that all his efforts, all his progress had been little more than an illusion. He hadn’t kept his promises at all. Certainly, he had grown stronger, but not strong enough and he closed his eyes as Acnologia loomed over him, the same eerie light that had accompanied Igneel’s death filling his vision and his final thought before it hit, was an apology to the father he had been supposed to avenge.

_I’m sorry Igneel, I wasn’t able to keep my promises…_

 


End file.
